Fantasy Football and Me: This Kind of Thing Is My Bag, Baby

Has it really been almost a month since my last post? Sorry about that, I've been wicked busy. I promise that from here on out however, you'll see at least 1 post a week. Now that my schedule has settled down a bit I should be able to put posts up more consistently. That and I need a place to rant about what's going on with Survivor. - TT

I love fantasy football but it doesn't love me. The best way to describe my relationship with America's favorite past time is "love/hate". Its like any major celebrity's feelings about fame. They both need it and are annoyed by it. This makes fantasy football my own personal paparazzi. I feed off the rush it gives me but half the time it makes me sick to my stomach and almost wreck my car. 

After some careful contemplation I've come to realize that there are three reasons why I have a Charlie Allnut/Rose Sayer type of relationship (or Ronnie/Sammie for you kids) with fantasy football. 

Fan Free Agency

Why This is a Good Thing: When I was a kid you picked a team you were loyal to (usually your dad's favorite team) and you stuck with them come hell or high water. As a fan of the Denver Broncos, who had a number of lean years in the 70s and early 80s (and now) this set a football fan like myself up for a lot of verbal abuse I just couldn't defend myself from. Raiders, Cowboys, and 49ers fans in particular loved to rub it in my face how much better their teams were and sadly, all I could to was listen because it was true. But now that's all changed. Team loyalty still exists, but more people are loyal to their fantasy team than their home team. Since a fantasy roster is made up of players from so many different franchises, lines of loyalty have been completely erased. 

Suddenly it's okay to root for a running back from the hated Kansas City Chiefs. He could lead your fantasy team to victory over a more menacing and real rival - your brother. Who cares if that KC RB did it against your favorite team? It's more personal when your smack talking brother gets his comeuppance than when some guys from a bunch of different states who get paid millions of dollars defeat some other guys from different states who get paid millions of dollars. When it comes right down to it Jerry Seinfeld's right, cheering for a team is just rooting for laundry. Fantasy football makes the NFL more personal. 

Why This is a Bad Thing: There is no more team loyalty. Part of what made football great is the fierce loyalty fans would have for their team and its players. A team had a rough season? Don't worry, the fans have your back. The QB had a bad game? Shake it off, you'll get'em next time. But fantasy football, combined with technology's "gift" of immediate gratification, has made for fans with absolutely no loyalty and therefore, no patience for any team or player that struggles. 

I'm guilty of this myself. At last night's Denver/Oakland game I too was chanting to get rid of Kyle Orton and for Tim Tebow to be put into the game. Do I feel bad after the tongue lashing the media handed out to Broncos fans today? Hell no! Those guys are just a bunch of talking heads. They're former jocks who can't relate to what it's like to pour the emotional and fiscal investment into a team that a fan does. Of course that doesn't necessarily mean I'm right either. Would a once in a lifetime talent like John Elway have been able to succeed today? I'd like to think so, but his first 2 1/2 years were a complete mess. Most fans would've been ready to trade him quick because they just don't have the patience to watch someone develop. 

Fantasy football has also created a division between the fans themselves. Fans of a team, even if they didn't know each other, had a shared bond. They had a similar interest and a mutual goal. Not anymore. Instead, football fans are more concerned about their own team than their home team. The passion for the NFL has shifted, diluting the community of the home team. 

Oh John, how the Broncos miss you.

Fantasy Football is Like a Romantic Relationship

Why This is a Good Thing: When you have a good fantasy football team the world is a better place. The air smells nicer, food tastes better, water is...wetter. It's also a justification of your own intelligence. "See!! Do you see how smart I am?!? Those hours researching third string running backs really paid off! Look how good my team is doing through the power of my genius!" What's best about succeeding with your own team is who you're besting in competition - people you know. Friends, family and the occasional random guy you don't know all must bow down to your awesomeness. Having a high performing fantasy team just makes you feel good about yourself. 

Why This is a Bad Thing: There's nothing worse than having a poorly performing fantasy football team. It's like being in a relationship with the fun, yet crazy girl you used to hook up with in college (think Jenn from The Challenge, Glen Close in Fatal Attraction, or Jennifer Aniston in real life). During those short bursts of physical activity (the draft, the first half of games) things are great. But the other 80% of the time (the second half of games, the other 6 days of the week) you're worried about your teams inconsistent behavior, whether they'll randomly show up or not at inappropriate times, and your lack of scoring. 

Greater Overall NFL Buy In

Why This is a Good Thing: Before fantasy football I never cared about other teams in the National Football League besides the Denver Broncos. But now, I have a reason to be interested not just in other players but other franchises as well. Who did the Steelers draft? How has the offensive line improved San Diego? What coaching changes have been made to what teams and how will it effect their offensive and defensive schemes? As a fantasy team owner, you have to have an encyclopedic knowledge of the NFL that rivals an entry level front office employee. It's an engrossing and fulfilling hobby, especially when you're winning. You also speak the same nerdy language as a lot of other men, which leads to plenty of male bonding.  

Why This is a Bad Thing: Fantasy football is incredibly competitive so if you want to field a good team and keep from getting ragged on for A) stupid personnel moves, B) drafting guys who are injured or retired, or worst of all, C) having a crappy team; you have to be an NFL General Manager-in-waiting. Unfortunately, this requires A LOT of time. I've been playing fantasy football for over 10 years, during that time the number of minutes spent on my "hobby" have increased exponentially. I have to to keep up with the Joneses. There's so many websites and magazines offering the one thing that can give you an edge, information, that you have to look over it all or get left out in the cold. As a 40-year old with a job and 2 kids, fantasy football can quickly turn into just another time sink. 

So now what? Am I saying you shouldn't play fantasy football? Of course not, that would be hypocritical (although I could make the case that after being a commissioner for 10 years that I'm like Al Pacino in Godfather III, "just when I think I'm out, they pull me back in"). Just be aware that engaging in an activity of this magnitude comes at a cost, and the longer you do it, the higher that cost is likely to be. 

And much like any unstable relationship there are likely to be serious side effects, such as - irritability, financial insecurity, depression, random fits of rage, incontinence, and on occasion, spontaneous sobbing. If this high risk/high reward liaison is something you think you can handle, maybe the minefield that is fantasy football will be gratifying for you. Maybe.