Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Survivor: South Pacific Episode 5 Running Diary

Brandon's favorite song? Cry Me a River by Justin Timberlake.

Another Wednesday, another episode of Survivor: South Pacific! I'm looking forward to a shake up soon, hopefully this week. Before we get to this episode though, I do want to briefly talk about two other shows, one new and one old.

The old show I want to throw out there is Battlestar Galactica. Prior to this summer I'd never seen a single episode. I got in on Caprica first, which is ironic since it's a prequel that came out after BG ran its course. I loved the characters and the storyline, even though I already knew how things would turn out. I figured I'd give Galactica a try, despite my reluctance to do so when it first aired because I was concerned about how it would compare to the original show (yes, the cheesy 70s version but I grew up with it as a kid so I had a soft spot for it). Now I can't get enough. I watch it on Netflix streaming all the time and it is FANTASTIC. I'm seriously considering asking for a Blu-ray box set for Christmas. If you're a late comer like me, don't hesitate. Jump into Battlestar Galactica now.

The other show I'd like to recommend is Homefront on Showtime. It's the only new show out this fall that I feel is worth watching. It has a stellar cast. Damian Lewis, who was fantastic as Maj. Winters in Band of Brothers, is the male lead. Claire Danes, who I've previously only really liked in the third Terminator movie, really shines in her role as a CIA agent teetering on the edge. Best of all is Morena Baccarin. Most will remember her as Inara from Firefly or as Anna from V. In Homefront she's Lewis's wife who is conflicted about her husband's return. It's a great show with lots of intrigue. It's only two episodes in but I'm already hooked. I highly recommend it.

Okay, enough of that. Let's get to this week's Survivor episode.

7:01 - Recap from last week. Ugh, here's yet another shot of Brandon crying like his dog just died. He's getting on my nerves. If there are Survivor gods, they'll be sure he takes a coconut to the groin this week.

7:03 - Stacey and Christine are reunited and it feels so good. For them. For those of us at home, it's like watching two clucking hens. They talk at the same time and no one understands what they hell either of them are saying. Not that anybody cares what these two non-factors are blabbering about anyway.

7:05 - Winning this week's "Pot Calling the Kettle Black Award" is Brandon, whose Forrest Gump-esque IQ blurted out this gem - "Mikayla said that she didn't like that I was a Hance, which is pretty prejudiced. It shows she has very little class." This coming from a guy who has the word "loco" tattooed on his neck and is so threatened by attractive women that he wanted Mikayla voted off because he was afraid he'd rape her.

7:05 - And we have Brandon tears. Shocking. This guy cries more than a pregnant woman watching The Notebook.

7:07 - Time for today's duel in the arena! Stacey goes on an incoherent rant complete with eye rolls, zerberts, random hand gestures, and more non-sensical slang than I can keep track of. She's essentially the female Victor Borge. And yes, that could be the most vague pop culture reference I've ever made.

7:10 - And Stacey loses. Nancy Grace (Christine) lives to see another day. Sadly, the audience loses a chance to absorb more of Stacey's eloquence. How will we survive?!?

7:16 - Coach gets a post duel report from Albert about Stacey's tirade and seems overly bent. Dude, who cares? Let it roll. Instead he gets mad and is thinking too far ahead and is concerned about how this will affect him at a merge. Then, he proceeds to utter the words you never should under any circumstances, "could this day get any worse?". That's what we in the writing trade call Foreshadowing.

7:18 - Such an interesting scene just now. Cochrane (who looks like a red-headed Count Chocula with his collar popped up for some weird reason) carrying in an armful of wood while Ozzy and Elyse lie around and pump up each other's egos. Why is the wimpy ginger kid doing all the work while you two pretty people sleep in and sit on your asses? I feel a usurping coming on. USURPING! Or at least I hope one's coming.

7:20 - Back at Coach's tribe. Albert, walking around in his boxer briefs (it drives me nuts that the dudes on this show constantly walk around in their underwear) easily finds an immunity idol clue. I again implore Mark Burnett - hire me as your official immunity hider. I'll make it harder to find than a good David Spade movie. If a guy just walks by a tree and sees a clue, the dude you hired is not doing his job.

7:23 - Holy crap, Coach found the idol. To steal from a Simpson's episode, everything's coming up Coach. Now both he and Ozzy have immunity idols. I guess these two, unless one or both does something stupid or trusts someone they shouldn't (which is possible) aren't going anywhere anytime soon.

7:29 - After an ocean excursion with Keith and Cochrane, Ozzy walks on the beach with a handful of fish like a strutting Jim Morrison. I understand how important food must be in the game, but haven't we seen it before where the overconfident "provider" gets the boot? It's not like a spear is a complicated tool. With a little practice, even Elyse could figure out how to use it. Right now, Ozzy seems ripe for the plucking.

Elyse, you're not quite pretty enough to be riding the Attach Myself to the Cute Guy train.

7:31 - Immunity challenge time! The old roasted-pig-on-a-spit-grab-off-a-hunk-of-meat-with-your-face-place-it-in-a-basket-and-hope-you-have-the most-weight-torn-off chestnut. Besides seeing this on Survivor multiple times, I'm pretty sure this is some kind of Man vs Food challenge.

7:35 - Wow! Coach's tribe wins by 2 ounces. They get to take their collected meat with them. Which honestly, if I was on the island for 13 days, I'd eat right out of the basket. So what if there's spit on it?!? If I go 3 days without a hamburger I'm cranky. Twelve days without meat? I'd have probably started to eat my tribemates by then. I'd start with Brandon so I wouldn't have to deal with his crocodile tears.

7:43 - Back at Ozzy's tribe. Looks like it's between Cochrane (the underdog) vs Elyse (the lazy pretty girl). Denver Jim is playing both sides but needs to swing Keith. Can a hunky jock be swayed to go against his natural alliance with Ozzy? I don't see it, but if he did it could really turn the game around.

7:45 - Brilliant play by Denver Jim. He talks with Keith, but not about voting for Cochrane. His stance is that he's more about voting (sort of) against Ozzy by taking out his strongest ally, Elyse. He's specifically using the news Dawn brought back from the arena duel earlier in the show to illustrate his point. Well played sir, very well played.

7:47 - Now we're presented with our twist. Keith is paired with Whitney, complicating matters. A vote for Elyse would essentially switch their alliance leaving Ozzy on the outs. Which side do they choose? The smart play is to vote out Elyse, the loyal play is to vote out Cochrane. I think Cochrane goes because Keith and Whitney don't seem very smart.

7:48 - Tribal council time!

7:53 - Yes! Elyse goes. Keith and Whitney throw away their votes at Dawn (such a stupid move, I hate the old we-chose-not-to-decide-yet-still-we-made-a-choice vote, you're just as guilty as everyone else) and Denver Jim, Cochran, and Dawn vote Elyse out. See ya!

Final thoughts - Loved the preview for next week where it looks like Ozzy is pouting like a baby and throwing challenges. Way to throw the game "All Star". Elyse in her exit interview got on her high horse and talked about loyalty and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This is Survivor sweetheart, get over yourself. I can't stand when people get on Mt. Pious and start acting like bittermen. You were bested, you got overconfident and you received what everyone gets who doesn't keep their head on a swivel - decapitated. I love blindsides, they always turn the game on its ear. Hopefully we'll see even more action in the next episode.

See you all next week!

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